Petie



This is Petie, and this is her story: "I'm one of those people who pass as "slender," but I'm really made of half blubber. But, since I'm tall and slender, I gave the modeling industry a try. The agency I started working with wanted me to lose three inches off my butt in 3 months when I was 16, so they could send me to Paris to live and work for a couple months. I had absolutely NO clue how I was going to do that. I successfully lost 1 and 1/2 inches in the three months after packing a lunch everyday and trying to ignore temptations while consistently running. But, that still wasn't enough. The last day before I was supposed to go to LA and get measured, I tried to make myself throw up. I ate a bunch of crackers and snacks my family friends set out by the pool, and I felt so bad. But, I couldn't do it. I gagged, and it made me cry. Water streamed out of my eyes involuntarily. So, there I was in my next casting. I sat in a room full of skinny beautiful models with competitive eyes. Part of me was jealous for a brief moment, but then I came to a realization. I was baffled and not okay with the fact that I just basically witnessed my subconscious be jealous of some girls who successfully acquire a disease. I smiled knowing I was happier than any of them. After that day trying to make myself puke for a measurement, I reached a serious low that I never desired to return to. I felt desperate and ugly inside. I happily walked out of that casting already knowing I didn't get the job. My body had a limit. And I couldn't mentally push past that if I tried. The industry doesn't portray true beauty; It portrays unhealthy physical and mental habits. Girls aspire to live up to these standards not understanding the pressure and starvation associated with the industry. I learned the hard way, and I'm happier eating my burritos and living my life the way I choose." #featurefriday